my pseudo life

mmm parties

2003-08-04T22:29:19Z

so my last party was so much freekin fun. i had a blast. tonite i'm having another smaller one. its been a while since that last one so its ok that i have another. i'm just waiting for people to get here now... we're gonna watch daredevil and play board games while being really drunk... not to mention pin the penis. haha... its our own spin on pin the tail on the donkey. me and j are ok for now... he bought me alcohol tonite so i cant be too mad... and we had some great sex last night... haha.. *yay*

who's looking south? not me, i'm not looking back.

2003-07-19T11:21:59Z

its so freekin early. i had to get up earlier because i get to go to work earlier! joy! i'm sick of everything. and i wish i was living at school with carmen... but instead i have a boyfriend. and i held myself back for him. i could have joined a soroity and what-have-you, and had the real college life, instead i'm commuting. he called me to wake me up this morning. i talked to him last night for about 2 seconds. i cant do this. my love language is time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ps- my party is tonite... i'm gonna get so fucking messed up. rock on.

ugh

2003-07-18T15:47:38Z

so me and j got into an argument this morning... about how i dont love him anymore and whatnot. i cant help it that i dont tell him as much as i used to. i'm just really tired of everything... hes such a woman anyways. he said i made him cry the other night too. i'm sorry, i cant do anything about it now... i'm a bitch and i'll always be a bitch. i want my way or no way. i used to never see my friends because i was stuck too far up his ass but since i've started living by myself i see them alot more. i thought i'd see j more but now it feels like i never see him. i did see him tuesday.. then went to my friends house to watch queer eye for the straight guy. it was funny. my priorities are rearraging. it used to be... j, friends, school, work... and slowly its more like... friends, work, j, school... i need to put school up front.. i havent even registered yet!! i really need to get going. anyways, and before all those is me. i used to be at the end.. but now i'm first. fuck waiting around and hoping that other people will make me happy. i have to make myself happy.

"you're willing to put your own personal feelings before our relationship?"

"uh.. yeah"

i find myself bored with this relationship... so i want to move on.. but its really hard because i dont want to be alone.. but i feel alone now.. so... whats the difference?

yay livejournal!

2003-07-18T03:39:01Z

alright, so NO ONE will read this and it doesnt matter. i used to have a livejournal.. still do although i never write in it.. but my boyfriend got anal over it, and i couldnt talk about people because i knew they read it... blah blah blah... let me cry a little.. yeah whatever. this is mostly for me... if anyone ever does read it though, feel free to leave me comments! i love hearing from people i dont know!

ok.. so since my last entry in my other livejournal... i've moved into my own apartment. its nice. and i have my cats now. they're so cute. but they're tearing up stuff... and that sucks.

saturday i'm thowing a little get together.. i'm hoping to get drunk off my ass and go to work the next day with a hangover... but shhh... my b/f who we'll call J because i like calling him that.. doesnt know that either.

another good thing... thats not really good but oh well life sucks... i havent had that monthly visitor women are supposed to have in oh say... 2 months? maybe 3? i've lost count really. true love waits!! lust doesnt! use protection!! i guess i should take my own advice... but they suck! ok, enough dirty talk.

warped tour is just a few days away... i'm stoked. i love the used.. and thrice.. and coheed and cambria.. wait they're not gonna be on that date... well... and... glassjaw.. and others i cant remember...

my stupid job makes me work all the time.. and tonite they told me i keep doing something wrong in the closing procedures... i'm not sure what it is.. but i got a lil form written up for me.. *yay*

i'm going to go play realms of kaos now because thats all i do anymore.. lately i dont really feel like im in a relationship. its weird... we just hit our year last week.. and we're gonna be living together next month.. but something is missing it seems. i dunno...